Workingout With Tucker

Friday we took Tucker, the big white dog to the vet. He has been favoring his left hind leg on and off for a couple of weeks so we needed to find out what was up. The examination suggested that he had a ligament issue that may need surgery. More detailed examination through x-ray would be necessary.

The next day I had scheduled a hay pick up but the weather was not cooperating. It looked like an opportunity to restart my weight lifting. Tucker decided for me that I needed to do the stubble part of the Wood, Hay and Stubble workout.

We had taken him into Manassas while we bought groceries. While I was unloading the car my mother pulled up. Normally Tucker is excited to see her so opening the gate to come in is not a problem, except today. He crashed the gate and went into my neighbor's cut cornfield. Without saying a thing I just jumped in the truck, put it into 4 wheel drive and went after him. He ran alongside the truck all the way to my neighbor's driveway, about half a mile. There he stopped. Figuring he was out of gas I got out and went to grab him and take him home. No dice. He turned and kept running. I stripped off my jacket and went after him full speed. When I reached the creek in the woods on the other side of the field he was nowhere to be seen.

There being no more need to hurry, I just jogged back to the truck, gathered my stuff and went around the block to tell the folks on the other side of the creek to keep an eye pealed for the big white dog. I then went back out to the main road to see if he was waiting for a ride like he tends to do. Not seeing him I went back down my neighbor's drive to go to the back of his farm where Tucker has been found more than once.

Halfway up the drive I saw Tucker coming back out of the woods. When he saw me stop he stopped and we just sat and stared at each other. I knew if I got out he would think something was up even if he did want to go back home with me and I would only add to the time before I could apprehend him.

While I sat there someone with a car just like my wife's came up the drive and went around me. Tucker must have thought it was her because he began to go toward it thinking she was driving off without him. I followed the car and that set the trap. He was now sure that we were going somewhere without him. He ran to catch up. When he got close enough I opened the door so he could jump in. Back at the house I told my wife that any dog that can run that far that fast for that long does not need money spent fixing his leg.









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Big White Dog, Virginia, Fitness

Filling Up with the Big White Dog

I continue to take Tucker the Big White Dog with us when we leave the farm during the day. Last Saturday we were stopped at the local 7-11 to get gas and coffee. While I was filling the tank a pick up pulled next to me. In the back was tied a miniature horse. My immediate thought was, "I think my dog is bigger than that horse." The woman driving the truck must have seen Tucker because when she came out she said, "I think your dog is bigger than my horse."

I locked the pump handle and grabbed Tucker's collar and led him over to show him to the woman and let him see the horse. Much oohing and ahhing until the woman's daughter pulled out her phone to take a photo while her mother went in the store. With show and tell all concluded I brought Tucker back and opened the back door.

The car was too close to the pump to get both the Big White Dog and myself around. I just reached around and got him started into the back seat. He was going in fine so I let go of his collar. Without hesitation he turned and made a dash for the Rout 28. It is a busy road 24-7 and Saturday morning was extra heavy. Reacting in an instant I grabbed his tail with a death grip, only my sudden lunge caused the pump to fall out of the tank, gas still flowing. I scarfed up the pump with my free hand. I now had a big white dog's tail pulling me one way while in the other I had a gas pump spitting fuel. I squeezed the handle to shut the pump then raked it back, grabbed Tucker and turned him back into the car, jumped in and pulled up to the front of the store just as my wife emerged with our coffee.

"Do you smell that gas? It's Tucker's fault. Let's go."

Life with Tucker is just one big adventure.









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Big White Dog, Virginia

The Wood, Hay and Stubble Workout

My workout program has been going along quite well. I started withe a workout based on the book, The New Rules of Lifting. In May I swiched to a classic 5x5 workout. Both gave me good results.

Right now I'm doing what I call the wood, hay and stubble workout. I chop wood one day, put hay up into the barn another. The stubble part of the workout is primarily cardio. It occurs when my Big White Dog escapes and I get to chase him through my neighbor's cut over corn field. The last time this happened was last Sat.

I was leaving the horses out to the field after feeding them when Tucker the Big White Dog saw an opportunity and rushed the gate. Too surprised to reach fast enough I had to wait until all the horses were out before I could begin the chase. He zig zagged the back field before crossing into the field next door giving me the chance I needed to try and catch up. Fortunately a trespassing hunter had killed a doe sometime during the week. After he cut the head off he must have beat feet leaving it behind. I grabbed it and went over the fence with it. It worked like a charm. Tucker just could not resist a deer head gladly giving up his freedom for such a prize.

Lifting weights in the comfort of my garage is much easier. .






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Tucker on the Campaign

People have been after me to weigh in on the election. Let me just say this about the other candidates.

When my opponents are making mistakes I don't wish to interrupt them. These people are dedicated to self destruction. The Democrats are especially adept at it. Hillary Clinton's crack up over a simple issue of giving driver's licenses to illegal immigrants is classic. Not that Obama or Edwards have not stumbled over each other in their efforts to spout nonsense. The rest of the Democrat field are such pip-squeaks that I don't need to mention them specifically.

As for the Republican field, I just shake my head at the jawboning about who is the conservative. Where I come from action speaks louder than words. Giuliani, Romney and McCain all have issues in the past that belie any claim to be conservative. Anyone who accepts any politician's claim that "That was then but now I've seen the light." is fooling themselves. Which leaves Huckabee and Thompson. They have some room to relax but they are still politicians so I'll be watching them with both eyes. Ron Paul is like McCain. He says things I agree with but he's too crazy to trust. I spend most of my day sniffing for rats and something about these people smells smelly.

Which brings me to the question about when I'm going out on the campaign trail. The people here at Morning Glory Farm where I live have taken it upon themselves to try and keep me from leaving. Every day they go out and add to the fence some additional security measure. When they get done I just show them how futile their efforts are by slipping out a new way. The problem is I have to spend so much time dealing with their nonsense that I just can't commit to anything right now. No sooner do I slip out then they race down to the road and cut me off. I think biting the tail of a neighbor's goat set them off on this crusade. Once I lull them back into complacency I'll make the big break and get thing moving on a larger scale. For now..Big White Dog for President!






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Tucker Goes to the Market

The Big White Dog has taken to expecting a ride in the truck each day. The last couple of weeks have kept us out of the house more than usual. With it being so hot we just don't like to take Tucker if he has to stay in the truck for very long. Still he thinks he's supposed to go when we leave.

Saturday afternoon I had to run to the gas station to buy diesel for the tractor. While I was loading the cans in the truck Mary called on the cell thinking I had already left to ask that I go by Safeway and get some floor polish. I was just opening the gate when she came out with Tucker. He ran out the gate, stopped and watched to see what I would do.

I have discovered a quirk that makes catching Tucker easy. His time in the rescue kennel must have taught him that the leash was a good thing. All I need do is pull one out and he gets excited and just lets me walk up and put it on. All I had in the truck was an old cross tie. It's like a lead line for a horse but the cord is elastic. This one had broken and got tossed in behind the seat. He let me catch him, then I reluctantly told Mary I would take him with me.

At the gas station I filled the cans and took pride as people admired Tucker while he stuck his head out the open window. It is fun to take him places because he gets so much attention. People are always asking, "What kind of dog is that?" or " That is a big dog."

When I got to Safeway I wanted to get in and get out quick because there was no shade to park in. I carefully set the windows so Tucker could put his head out but not escape. I went in, got what I needed, found a short line and got out. As I was paying for my stuff the checker asked "Do you need help outside?" They always ask that and of course I thanked her and said no thank you. Little did I know.

Two weeks ago I started the process of getting a dental implant to replace a tooth a horse had knocked out. It's much more involved that I thought. After they pulled what was left of the tooth they put a screw into the socket then sewed it up to heal for about four months. In the mean time I get to have a small denture plate for the missing tooth. As I left the store I stopped at the gum ball machines. I thought as I popped in the gum, "This was the first gum I have had since the plate. I wonder if it will be OK?"

Sure enough as I walked up to the truck I could not see a Big White Dog. I could not believe he got through that window. I turned to scan the parking lot just as I realized that the gum had turned to epoxy and glued itself to the plate. A store employee was pushing carts up the parking lot. I ran over to her and tried my best to talk clearly with a glob of glue stuck to the front of the roof of my mouth.

"Hab oo eem a bug whit dug?"

"What?"

Clinched teeth, talked slow "Have you seen a Big White Dog?'

"Oh, yes he's in the front of the store."

As I jogged over to the other entrance to the store I tried to chisel the gum off my plate with my tongue. All I got for my effort was a dislodged plate with gum now securely wrapped around it. I did my best to jam that thing back in place without being too obvious. When I saw Tucker and his new friends I mumbled the best I could and thanked them. I was curious about what they thought when they saw the broken end of the" leash" but conversation was out of the question. A nice woman told me how beautiful he was and said "He must have gone in the store looking for his dad." I just hummed and knodded my head.

Oh great, the dog when right into the store. He probably liked the automatic doors. I can imagine how wonderful a place he had found thinking, "Gee, no wonder dad likes to go in this place. It smells great!"

As we walked up to the truck we came up on a couple with twin boys still sitting in the cart while they were loading groceries in their trunk.

"Look at the big puppy!" one of the boys called out.

"Oh that's the dog we saw in the store." replied the mother.

Normally I would stay a chat but the Blob was taking over my mouth.








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A Carefully Crafted Plan

Mary went to her pottery class in Manassas, I would later meet her at my Mother's house for lunch. In the meantime I planned to let the horses into the barn for the day and mow the lawn along our long driveway. Both of these activities involves opening the gates. Not wishing to be delayed by a Tucker escape I formed a plan to accomplish these chores without him knowing I was going out.

Normally I just let him come with me and he is OK with not wandering or trying to escape. But I normally have Mary to help and don't have someplace I need to be right away. Tucker has shown an uncanny ability to judge when we are scheduled to be someplace, then thwarting any effort to be on time by going on a walkabout. When we do leave we lock the door and slip out by going down to the basement to exit out the back. He is wise to this and immediately begins to look for us to leave if we just open the basement door. All this is necessary because he can open the door on the porch and let himself in and out at will.

Tucker was sound asleep in the bathroom. I opened the door to the basement and just left it open while I went back to putting around the kitchen. He never flinched. I went out and opened the front gate so when I was ready to mow I could start the mower and be out before Tucker could come out of the house. I went back in and he had not moved. The horses came up so I snuck out again figuring I could let them in and then get on the mower. All was looking good . I was at the barn and no Tucker. I opened the gate the horses came in. I closed the gate and turned to find the Big White Dog was watching me from the barn door. He seemed content to lye in the shade of the barn so I made my move to hop on the mower and get out the open gate before he realized it was open. No luck as soon as I got to the mower he was right there with me. Slowly I walked to the gate to close it before he took a mind to dash out. As I write this he is at the door. Plan B to leave will be hatched soon.








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Big White Dog, Virginia,

Tucker's Most Excellent Day

One momentary lapse and through the back door of the feed room goes the Big White Dog. How could I be so stupid? It's like a sixth sense to him. It doesn't matter where he is in the yard, if a way is left for escape he is there like a flash and gone. Calling him or even trying to bribe him with promises of treats only cements his resolve to make good his escape. Not that he doesn't hear or understand. No, he will stop and look right at me before he bolts through the fence.

Into capture mode. Mary and I jump into the car and scoot out to the main road. She drops me at the bridge to intercept him if he tries to cross, meanwhile she drives the roads around the farm. With no immediate luck I start to follow the creek and Mary goes back to the house to wait for a neighbor to call. Another half hour and I'm calling it quits. It's hurry up and wait time. As I get back to the bridge my cell phone rings. Mary has got him and is coming to pick me up. Thank goodness for that because I'm beat.

When Mary arrives she's frantic. " Get in quick. I left the pork roast on the counter!"

As we dash to the kitchen door we can see through the window that Tucker is just lapping up the last bit of goodness from the remnants of what was a delicious treat. A most excellent day.








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Virginia, Big White Dog

Tucker on Ice

The past couple of weeks here in Virginia have been difficult because of the lingering ice. Even in February if we get snow it melts by the second day. This time however it came like an old drinking buddy from school that stops in to visit unannounced. It's nice to see him, but the longer he stays the more one wishes he would leave. As one would expect, our hay supply was dwindling and something had to be done in spite of the driveway and barnyard being buried under what seemed to be a growing glacier if ice.

We scheduled delivery of 350 bales with a farmer in Ohio. I was skeptical about why he needed to come all the way to Virginia to sell his hay, but our friend in Ohio had bought some and assured us it was nice stuff. Each day that passed we hoped the weather would break so the drive would clear. Each day the ice got worse. Finally we had to make provision for the conditions because the man was on his way. I hooked up the big trailer to go to the neighbor's to borrow his hay elevator because there was no way that the hay guy was going to get close enough to unload directly from the truck. Mary hooked up the harrow to the tractor in hopes that it would break up the ice just a little. The plan was to work on the drive while I was picking up the equipment. Tucker, our Big White Dog, had other plans.

We have been giving Tucker some freedom to go outside the fence. It has made him less inclined to want to escape for a run down to the road. This day however was too critical for him to leave well enough alone. As soon as I went through the gate so did he. Mary tried to scold him while I tried to capture him only to further increase his determination to not do as we wished. Instead of just going back in he started for the road. I got in the truck and went after him trailer in tow. At the end of the drive he didn't even hesitate. He went trough the neighbor's fence. No way I could chase him so I just went to pick up the elevator. Mary made some divots in the driveway but the ice was too hard to really have any effect.

Meanwhile Tucker was adding to his social contacts. Across from the farm in front of us are some houses on five acre lots. Out front of one were two young girls about 13 or 14 years old riding their sleds down the icy bank near their house. As they were about to go down for another ride their mother called out to them to look behind them. There, standing over them was the Big White Dog. They told us when we got there that they thought it was a wolf. How they overcame their fear and captured him I didn't ask. But there they were with Tucker on a leash quietly waiting for his ride home. Soon everyone in Calverton will know the Big White Dog.
BTW. The hay guy came the next day and all went better than expected. He thought we were having a heat wave compared to what he had left in Ohio. The ice was no big deal for him. The hay was nice too.





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Virginia

Useful Fiction

In life there are situations that exist which can be best described as useful fictions. They are conditions that are understood by both parties but not acknowledged because to do so would cause unnecessary turmoil. In the old Soviet Union the citizens had a saying, "The government pretends to pay us and we pretend to work." In the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" the mother explains to her daughter, "The father is the head of the family but the mother is the neck. The neck can turn the head any way it wants to." Here at Morning Glory Farm we have the fence and the Big White Dog.

With each successful closing of a gap in the fence, Tucker has discovered new and innovative ways of escape. We plug the hole underneath and he goes through over top. We raise the wire and he squeezes between the gate and the post. Tighten the gap at the post and he goes through the gate itself. He seems more eel than dog.

Lately we have observed Tucker slipping through the gate while Mary is feeding the horses. He walks the paddocks until she is finished, then he slips back in as if he had never left. We pretend to confine the Big White Dog and he pretends to not escape.

Rather than try and secure this new breach I have decided to use a incentive based confinement method. Tucker came to us from the rescue league. As should be expected he had some issues that needed to be dealt with. The first and most critical was his aggressive defense of his food. Fortunately we quickly established our dominance and over time he found life here to be to his liking so he has relaxed over the food thing, with one exception. If I put his bowl on the porch, he feels compelled to baby-sit it to protect it from cats, birds, bugs and other sundry boogie men. I know that when I leave he can slip out at anytime but by leaving his bowl out I know he will be here when I get back. We now live with a useful fiction. Just call me Sgt. Schultz.










Virginia, Big White Dog

Tucker Is Running...for President

My fellow Americans. I wish to take this time to announce my candidacy for the office of President of the United States. I might as well join the fray. With all the other announced candidates being such a pack of dogs, the voters should at least have the opportunity to vote for the real thing.




Trackedat Basil's .
Thanks for the link at United Conservatives of Virginia





politics, Big White Dog, 2008 Race

Travels With Tucker

I believe I have secured the fence for now. Yesterday The dog stayed in the yard all day. I did take him with me when I went into town just as a precaution but left him home while I had dinner with my Mom later last night. He was still there when I got back.

Feeling secure about the fence one would think I could now devote some time to commenting on current events such as Nancy Pelosi carving out an exception from the minimum wage law for American Samoa to benefit a large corporate concern in her district. Or perhaps Harry Reid's attempt to water down the anti pork barrel bill. I might have something to say about the illegal immigrants protesting states that will no longer use citizen's taxes to finance their collage tuition or expound on Hugo Chavez' nonsense about Jesus being "the greatest socialist ever." That I would do except I have a Big White Dog.

The steel company called to let me know my order was ready. I'm making iron handrails for the steps. Steel comes in 20 foot lengths so to save shipping cost I hooked up our flatbed trailer to go into town and pick it up. Before I left, my wife called from SC where she is visiting her Mother. When I mentioned going to get the metal she suggested that I take the dog along to make sure he did not escape while I was gone.

"Really, I think I have the fence secure." I said.

"Oh, but I just worry that he'll get out and go out to the road."

Well...OK I'll take him." Somewhat disingenuously since I was already thinking I might just leave him and not say anything.

When it was time to leave I seriously considered not taking him but the way things have been going it would be just my luck that he would get out and then I would have to face the wrath. Getting him in the truck is no easy task. He is the most suspicious dog in the world. The only time he gets in voluntarily is when he is standing in the middle of the road waiting for his ride home after his latest escapade has worn him out. I capture him, push him in and off we go.

Once under way he settles onto the seat with his head on my leg. I give him lots of pets to help him learn that traveling is fun. It all seems to be going just fine, until I get into town. The main street through Manassas, VA is two tight lanes with some parking on the side. The trailer I'm pulling is as wide as they come. Just when I need the passenger side mirror to see how much clearance I have from the parked cars Tucker decides to stand up and look around. I can't see a thing. To avoid hearing the sickening sound of tearing metal I hog the lane next to me only irritating a half dozen people.

Arlington Iron Works is maybe the last company in the US to not have a computerized order system. The man at the order desk has no clue where my order is after a half hearted effort perusing the slips on his desk and tells me he's sorry but my order is not there. I patiently explain that I got a call from a guy named Manny this morning and scheduled pick up at 1:30.

"Do you want me to call him?" He asked.

"No, I'll just turn around and drive twenty miles back home because you're an idiot." Is what I wanted to say but I just said "Please."

With order in hand I pull the truck and trailer to door #1. The man inside asks that I back the trailer into the warehouse. My wife is an expert at backing the trailers. I have seen her put a horse trailer into the narrowest of places with ease. I however had to attempt to put that flatbed trailer into that warehouse door a dozen times before I finally succeeded. As I was working at not taking out a portion of the building it started to rain so I rolled down my window to see better. I got out to help them load the steel, thanked them and walked back to the truck. When I opened to door there was no Big White Dog inside. He had jumped out the window!

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout.

I called as loud as I could "Tucker, Tucker." Which in that neighborhood was likely misunderstood as something else. With each moment I became more angry. I did what any Deacon of a Baptist Church would do, I stomped my feet throwing up my hands and yelled, "That stupid dog! Now I have to spend the rest of the day running around this town looking for a damn dog!" People passing by must have thought I was a lunatic. They were right. That dog was driving me nuts. Then I had an idea. I would call my wife and tell her what a wonderful idea it was to bring the dog along. Then I remembered that I had left my phone at home. AHGGGGG!

Realizing that it was really a good thing for me that I did not have my phone, some rationality began to come back. I began to form a plan. In front of the steel plant is a building used by the Corrections Dept. as a work release facility. The way I was acting they may have thought there was an escape. I headed there to let them know I was looking for a Big White Dog and if they saw him how to contact me. As I approached the building from the west a corrections officer got out of his car and was coming from the west end. I was about to get his attention when out of the bushes behind him Tucker poked out his head.

Putting out my hand I said, " Come on now, playtime is over. It is time to go home."

Officer Friendly looked at me quite perplexed and I think he was reaching for his gun. I stopped and told him I was talking to the dog while pointing behind him. He turned.

"Oh my God!" He said when he saw Tucker.

I quickly ran a grabbed the dog. Another officer came out to look at him. We had some gentle conversation and I left.

I got home and saw that my wife had called my cell phone at about the same time I was looking for Tucker. I called her while thinking how fortunate I was that I did not have my phone with me. After I told her of the latest adventure with Tucker she mentioned how very boring it is in Camden, SC. I might let her take the Big White Dog with her the next time she goes to see her Mom. That should solve the boredom thing.

Canine Carnival 9 at Pamibe






politics, oil, immigration, Big White Dog, Pelosi

I Am Owned by a Pyrenees

On Monday my wife went to South Carolina to be with her mother for a week. I anticipated I might find some extra time to blog a bit more while I was here alone. I do have to take care of the farm and all but I should still find time that needs filling, right? Not with Tucker my big white dog.

See the dog in the picture? He's a Great Pyrenees. He's near as big as I am. See the fence in the background? It also has wire mesh on it. One would think I could keep him from wandering the neighborhood. Not! What free time I have has been spent either looking for him or looking for the latest breach in the fence. It took me an hour to go to the post office which is three miles from the farm. Fifteen minutes to go get the mail after forty five minutes chasing the dog all over town. As soon as I try leave he squirts through the fence like it was no there.

I now empathize with Col. Klink of the sitcom Hogan's Heroes. I want to change the name of the farm from Morning Glory Farm to Fortress Morning Glory because of the extent of the effort to keep the big white dog inside the fence. Like the inmates of Stalag 13 however he comes and goes at will. I fully expect to find a hollow tree stump made into an escape hatch out in our woods. By the time Mary gets back I may have attached a ball and chain to his leg. I' just afraid that I will find the latch undone and the dog running free. I've taken to buying lotto tickets in hopes of wnning enough money to build a brick wall around the place. I should add a moat so and undermineing he does will be flooded. If I find something that works I might tell Homeland Security so they can use it on the border.


I wouldn't mind him wandering so much if he didn't have this habit of standing in the middle of the road after he's finished with his jaunt about town. He has found that by doing so he gets a free ride home. Too tired to walk the rest of the way I guess. He does it so regularly that I just drive out to the road and wait for him to show up. Sure enough he'll pop out and just stand there waiting for his ride.

How come I'm so easily trained by a dog?




Carnival of the Dogs at Mickey's Musings

Virginia, dog training, Big White Dog