Once More Into the Breach

Finding Nonsense and Beating it Sensible

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Location: Virginia

I used to watch TV news and yell at the box. Now I jump up from the couch, sit at the computer and begin to type laughing maniacally saying "Wait until they read this." It's more fun than squashing tadpoles

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Useful Fiction

In life there are situations that exist which can be best described as useful fictions. They are conditions that are understood by both parties but not acknowledged because to do so would cause unnecessary turmoil. In the old Soviet Union the citizens had a saying, "The government pretends to pay us and we pretend to work." In the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" the mother explains to her daughter, "The father is the head of the family but the mother is the neck. The neck can turn the head any way it wants to." Here at Morning Glory Farm we have the fence and the Big White Dog.

With each successful closing of a gap in the fence, Tucker has discovered new and innovative ways of escape. We plug the hole underneath and he goes through over top. We raise the wire and he squeezes between the gate and the post. Tighten the gap at the post and he goes through the gate itself. He seems more eel than dog.

Lately we have observed Tucker slipping through the gate while Mary is feeding the horses. He walks the paddocks until she is finished, then he slips back in as if he had never left. We pretend to confine the Big White Dog and he pretends to not escape.

Rather than try and secure this new breach I have decided to use a incentive based confinement method. Tucker came to us from the rescue league. As should be expected he had some issues that needed to be dealt with. The first and most critical was his aggressive defense of his food. Fortunately we quickly established our dominance and over time he found life here to be to his liking so he has relaxed over the food thing, with one exception. If I put his bowl on the porch, he feels compelled to baby-sit it to protect it from cats, birds, bugs and other sundry boogie men. I know that when I leave he can slip out at anytime but by leaving his bowl out I know he will be here when I get back. We now live with a useful fiction. Just call me Sgt. Schultz.





Anonymous PHenry said...

You should rename him

2:21 AM  

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